Community that cares:
The fight for older women’s cohousing

Almost half of people over 60 live alone in the UK. Among the over-75s, half see family members less than once a month and only a quarter have weekly visits.

The stark reality of the isolation of many older people today, and particularly older women, is a danger to their health, says Shirley Meredeen, founding member of Older Women’s Cohousing (OWCH).

“It’s no secret that a lot of these people are rattling around in these homes on their own and finding it very hard to cope. They either become very poor and disabled, or miserable and lonely and therefore their health deteriorates. There are very few alternatives.”

After attending a conference about cohousing in 1998, Shirley decided it must be the way forward:

“I was 70 at the time. At that age one’s family and friends are dispersed, you are left anticipating deteriorating health and loneliness in old age. It seemed to me a wonderful way to join up with other people and be supportive of each other. I left that meeting very enthusiastic and we got to work right away”

The concept of senior co-housing is well established in the United States, Holland and Denmark and there is growing interest in the UK. The OWCH group, with a core of about twenty members, have plans for a mutually supportive development in london, with self-contained flats and communal spaces for occasional shared meals as well as other activities such as yoga.

“You have to keep your brain active”, explains Shirley, a strong-willed and resolute woman of 83 years. “It extends your life. As you get older, your day has less structure; you’ve got to work at creating activities and interests. But there will always be stimulation in a cohousing community”

Nicolette Bolgar, 57, joined the over-50s-only group seven years ago after reading about them on the internet:

“I think the unifying thing for the OWCH women is that they are looking honestly at the ageing process and making plans for it, rather than just ending up somewhere in a rather passive way.

“We’ve seen what’s happened to our own parents and their age, whether it’s been sheltered housing or old people’s homes and the institutionalised way it has been done has been very frightening to us. We are making an act of choice to perpetuate our health and independence.”

The group have had to defend their decision to exclude men until blue in the face, but are quite clear about their reasons.

“Many of us are widowed and feel that our relationships with men are kind of done. Plus, if we do all start becoming dotty and start walking around not properly dressed, I think a lot of us would feel much more comfortable starting to dement in front of other women”.

The group is currently partnered with Hanover Housing, who have secured a site for the project in Barnet, though planning permission is anything but a given.

Shirley feels passionately that this is a battle she has to see through: “The idea of cohousing has cottoned on only in the last five years, less than that. But we’ve been fighting for twelve years and our development still hasn’t taken off because of the reactionary attitudes of local authorities and other people. When we started out, no one had heard of cohousing. We’ve been a lone fighter.”

“The main reason that the project has been moving so slowly is that we live in an ageist society. When we’ve gone to some local authorities and talked about the idea and asked them to consider land for us for example, they say they have a greater need to house young people, old people aren’t important and older people aren’t vulnerable. They simply have not understood the fact that older people are living longer, that there are very few choices for them: they have been unable to accept all the reasons we have been trying to create a cohousing community.”

The group’s treasurer Marion Virgo, says, “The principles of cohousing are pretty sophisticated and it is still misunderstood. It doesn’t fit naturally into the way that planners, councils and bankers think”. With the help of Housing For Women, a housing association set up to help vulnerable women, the group are edging closer towards the realisation of their dream.

But for some members, it is already too late. The very first founder of OWCH died seven years ago waiting for planning permission. “It makes me very sad, says Shirley, “because she was absolutely determined. It was her inspiration that started the whole thing. Some of us have died waiting and it is very disappointing because their dream of creating this community had not come to fruition even after all the years of work they had put into it in their lifetime. It absolutely gives me a stronger sense of determination to continue and honour their work”

“We are a pioneering group. Once our development is finished it will set a precedent and make it easier for other groups to follow where we have led. We have fought for so long and stayed together through all of it to show that women can do it. So many men have said ‘Who is going to change a fuse for you?’, nonsense things like that. Well, if we haven’t all got the skills, we’ll teach each other.”

The battle for Older Women’s Co-Housing is a fight for housing choices for older women all over the country. As we say our goodbyes, Shirley assures me that she remains optimistic for the future of the project. “I’ve got to believe it’s going to happen. We’ve had so many kicks, so many losses. I haven’t put in all the work and effort that I have to give up. I believe in it, I really do believe in it.”